They might be the masters of the in-song rude
word that isn't rude. But are McFly fully prepared for the consequences
of their own not-filthy ways? Only one man can tell us...
TOTP: Tom, I've been listening to your new song 'Star Girl' and I think it's clear that the key line is "I fell in love with Uranus"...
Tom: Well you can't write a song about
space and not say Uranus, it's the rule. In fact as soon as we said we
were writing a song about space we had a call from the songwriting
committee, and they were like 'we hope you're not thinking about
writing a song about space without Uranus in' and we were like 'oh,
TOTP: Are there other schoolboy jokes that you'll be looking to cram into songs at a later date?
Tom: I'm not gonna tell you, cos then it'll ruin the surprise...
maybe there's some you haven't thought of yet. What if I give you some
words which sound rude but aren't, and then you can tell me how best to
use them in song form?
Tom: OK, let's do it. I like this idea.
Tom: What does that actually mean?
TOTP: It's a cooking method for roasting a chicken, or a game bird.
Tom: Well I'm not quite sure what context you could put that into a song. But it's a brilliant word.
TOTP: Just a brilliant word, that's a shame. OK, what about crevice?
Tom: [thinks] Maybe rhyme it with Ben Nevis...which is no longer a mountain...it's a crevice!
TOTP: We've inverted Ben Nevis! It goes down!
Tom: Did you know that's actually true? It
doesn't come under the height regulations for a mountain any more and
it's been demoted to just a hill.
TOTP: Poor Ben Nevis...
Tom: Poor Ben Nevis, might as well be a crevice.
TOTP: [awed] Truly, you are a master at this game. How about masticate?
Tom: [thoughtfully] Masticate...what does that mean?
TOTP: It means 'to chew'.
Tom: 'To chew'...I'm not quite sure...
TOTP: Something sexy perhaps? Like "I'd like to masticate on your ear"?
Tom: Yep! I like that. You're better at this than I am.
TOTP: That's the hook, right there.
Tom: You could base the whole song on...you don't even need a song, you could just release that line and it would be No.1.
TOTP: A heady thought. Now, muff.
is the next word I have for you. What could you do with a word like
muff, bearing in mind a muff is one of those hand-warming things that
ladies carry around?
Tom: I'd like to put my hand in your muff...
TOTP: OK then! [awkward pause] Err...futtock.
TOTP: No, futtock with an F. It's one of the curved timbers in a wooden ship.
Tom: Er, well you could say...I don't know...you're going to have to help me out again...
TOTP: Oh no!
I hoped that you'd have all these ready to go, bearing in mind the
Uranus line. Am I prying into too many secrets of the new McFly album?
Tom: Well, I hope you know the Uranus line
took years of planning. We've been planning that since before 'Five
Colours In Her Hair' came out, and we just had to wait for the right
time to unleash it upon the world.
TOTP: The time is finally right to unleash Uranus on the world...
Tom: I'm not sure the world is ready for a futtock line yet.
TOTP: Flange then. Surely you could do something with flange?
Tom: What is a flange? What's the real meaning?
I'm glad you asked. A flange is an extra rim on something like a
railway line which stops the wheels falling off the rails.
Tom: Oh really? Well you could do something like...see I don't know, this is hard, you're putting me on the spot.
TOTP: That's an interview. Have you done interviews before? They're a lot like this.
Tom: [to Dougie] How could you use flange in a lyric? [clearer] Dougie says it's not a very good word.
TOTP: Oh. I'm sorry Dougie. What about moist? Is that a better word?
Tom: [confers with Dougie, time passes] You could put all of these words in one sentence, that would be a real big challenge.
TOTP: What, like "I'd like to masticate your creamy futtock", something like that?
Tom: "While touching your warm moist muff..."
TOTP: This is when McFly go nearly X-rated isn't it? Like Y-rated...
Tom: [laughs] yeah!
TOTP: How about droopy?
Tom: [thinks for ages] I don't know.
TOTP: Do you know, I don't think you and I are going to come up with a hit album together.
Tom: Well some people you just don't click with when you first write together.
TOTP: What is your working process for song-writing then?
Tom: We basically just sit around, and at
the end of the night we've written a song, and no-one knows how it
happens. At some point in the night we stop telling fart jokes and
messing around and we actually write a song.
TOTP: Is that why a lot of your songs have got fart jokes in?
Tom: Well yeah, they just sneak their way in there.
there a line that you will not cross? Has one of the guys ever come in
with an idea that you've realised you can't do because you are McFly,
guardians of the morals of an entire generation?
Tom: I dunno. I think you can get away with
stuff like Uranus, but we don't want to be too crude. We wanna be
cheeky but not crude. That's our motto, and our morals.
TOTP: I wonder what that is in Latin, you could have blazer badges made up.
Tom: Yeah, or tattoos.
TOTP: Aw, see, you went rock 'n' roll straight away. You've blown it already.
Tom: [ashamed] I'm...I'm sorry.
TOTP: What about the word secrete, could that go somewhere?
Tom: No, but you could secrete it in your
muff. Stick it in your moist muff! Just with that one word you've
opened up an endless world of possibilities.
TOTP: Now we're clicking! This is the magic moment! In a second or two there's going to be a song.
Tom: I know. Well, if you could fit flange in there I'd be impressed, but that's quite a difficult one.
TOTP: Well maybe the moist muff has a flange on it?
Tom: That's true, it could have a flange that holds it all together.
TOTP: Could it be clammy?
Tom: Clammy? It could be a clammy moist flange on the muff.
TOTP: So the flange is clammy on the edge of a moist muff. So maybe it's a cold day...
Tom: And it's a bit droopy.
TOTP: What effect do you think this might have on a helmet?
Tom: Well if the helmet was in the moist flange it would mean that...it would mean that...
TOTP: Yes? YES?
Tom: It would mean that 'Motion In The Ocean', our album which is out on the 6th of November, would be the best album in the world.
TOTP: Bah! I see what you did there.
Tom: Yes, what I did there was take our conversation and I just put in something which I wanted to add.
TOTP: I would imagine that would be something you might be a bit tired of saying at the moment, but you jammed it in there.
TOTP: I see, so what you want to talk about is the release schedule for your new product.
Tom: Well, you know, we talk about moist
flanges a lot in our private life, so it's nice to take a break when we
come to do interviews.
Tom: [laughing] Yeah, you've hit the flange on the head there...